K, seriously, I have bought him lamb every week since we got back from Greece! From our research it seems he should be on a high protein, low carb diet for depression. I cooked him protein all weekend.
He stopped taking his ADs the day before Greece and his hair has fallen out alot since.. I found one website that made a link between stopping ADs and hair loss. Has anyone here heard of that? I also told him he should get his blood tested, that me and you got depressed when we were anaemic.
This morning I asked bf what the date was (I knew), he calmly said 2nd November, so he has no idea..today is 2 years since the bomb, when he ended it so abrubtly and stuck to it for 18 months. I woke up at 5 am sad and a bit stressed..its been a hard weekend with him sucking everything into a black void. Because he is like this, I can no longer mention anything about the bomb, the past, Helen, our future etc.
I found myself looking at my old threads. Two years ago today, I emailed him, imploring him to seek help for his depression. He didnt reply, but came in the door at 5pm, sat me down and announced
"I dont love you anymore, my feelings have changed for good and I'm leaving you. I love you, but I'm not in love with you, I love you like a mate." He said that he wanted to be on his own, he couldnt explain or give me reasons, other than this was the right thing for him. He said I know its selfish and its the opposite of what you want, but I'm 100% sure this is right for me. I'm absolutely certain. He said he had more confidence now where he didnt have any before. He said that he just wants to "draw a line under it and move on, put the past behind me". When I asked if bereavement had clouded his mind, he said no, quite the opposite, it had given him clarity as "my Dad was unhappy all his life" and that lifes short and makes me realise I'm doing the right thing. He also said he wasnt depressed and isnt going to snap out of it."
..two years on, we are back to 'normal' and his depression dominated our weekend. Lifes wierd isnt it?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
