What to do, what to do?

[courts0818]

Lulu,
Is your appt. this Monday, Nov. 2nd? If so, just wanted to say good luck! Sounds like you found a terrific counselor. I hope she's a great fit for the both of you.

I'm so happy that your H is taking this step.

I'm not sure if you act differently in MC. I think you need to be very open and honest to let your true feelings be known and to allow the issues to be addressed. You are looking for resolution here, so you need to be honest at least IMHO. If it were me, I would want to talk about it all - cause if not, resentment would build.

I think I would say how I was truly feeling during MC (and probably wouldn't hold much of anything back - after all your H said he wanted to do this for the girls and you are there to work on the marriage - so I'd be talking, listening and learning). Then at home maybe you could still try to keep up with the DB - at least not forcing conversations about the R, being happy and so forth.

Kinda of use it for what it is - your opportunity to get it all out, to sort through it, to work through it, to learn new tools and resources. Then, when it's finished (talk to your H if it seems like the right thing to do and/or if your counselor gives you that as homework). Then...it's back to learning to be happy on her own, Lulu. The strong, independent woman that you are.

Does that make sense? I'm tired tonight and kinda all over the place with my thoughts. In a nutshell, be open during MC - put your thoughts out there. When it's over - back to being the best you can be without him right by your side. : )