Acting "as if" all day. Still disheartened. H is very tired, distant, and irritable. I get despondent when he's like this because my feelings of rejection are insurmountable at times. Having "that time of the month" always increases these insecurities...
Truly "acting" the "as if". On good days, I can actually convince myself, but today it's pure faking it. Mantra "as if, as if, as if" how in the heck are we supposed to act as if when our spouses hate us so much? He just seems to not care at best, hate me at worse. I'm so tired of hoping and waiting. I was ready to move on last week, then I got sucked in by his total 180 toward a nice H. Got hopes up, here I am again. When will I learn?
