Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years will soon be upon us.
This will not be an easy time for a lot of us. So I thought it would be a good thing for us to start thinking ahead as to how we should spend it. I believe if we put our plans in motion, we won't be so blindsided when they quickly approach.
Who do you want to spend them with? Will you need to make travel arrangements? Where do you want to spend them? If at home, maybe you want to switch things up a bit. New traditions? Keep the same?
Please post and give us your ideas. You just may be the one to give someone who may be facing their first holidays without their MLC spouse some HOPE!
* Last year, was my first Holiday without MLC H, and I remember how hard it was. Although things have not changed much for me yet, I plan on it being better than last year. I might even go Christmas shopping this year!
Christmas eve is going to be a hard one to get past. For the last 11 years we have had a party here with all our families here. ( well mostly hers as I only have my mom and dad in this country ) WAS always completely decorated the whole house with xmas stuff. It was her favorate time of year and we spent the whole time here and then at both our parents houses on xmas then to her side of the family for a boxing day celebration.
So xmas eve I am planning on spending some time at my Mom and Dad's house instead of at my house. I have no kids so I do not have those issues. Xmas day. I am going to stay there and watch a movie and have some turkey. That night meet up with some friends for a pint. Boxing day. Well I am just going to watch some hockey and relax.
Thats the plans so far.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
First of all, I wish everyone a good holiday season, and pray that the nature of the special occasions coming up would bring back good memories, shared histories, togetherness and draw your families closer, wherever you may be in your sitch right now.
But yes, it can be a hard time as well.
About what seems a million years and 2 Christmases ago, I was truly dreading this time of year. A W in name, pining away for OM, 2 kids ignorant of how bad things were and on edge from the tension. Honestly, there were times it felt better if W and I were apart. We had booked a trip to Ca, NV, Disneyland before the bomb and just to avoid disappointing the kids, we went ahead. There were good parts, and some pretty bad parts, but importantly, just the sheer logistics and traveling kept us busy and civil and doing "the right things". Beats staring at the wall and wondering which one of us was going to press the "escalation" button.
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
Hi Deep could you post your trip experience in Indy36's thread since you actually did it. He is in a similar situation with a trip coming up but with teenagers.
Flowers always make people better, happier, and more helpful; they are sunshine, food and medicine for the soul. unconditional love is awesome!
I had my first holiday without the kids and WAS last Thanksgiving. I wound up helping with a thanksgiving dinner for the homeless/poor in our town, hundreds of people. It wound up being one of my best holidays ever. It's hard to feel sorry for yourself when you realize so many have it way harder.
I have the kids this year, and I plan to have them help out too. I think they'll enjoy it and get a lot out of it. So we have a new T-giving tradition...I know lots of towns do something like that, and I think it really is a great idea if anyone is thinking about it.
Are there any others who would like to add their thoughts...
There are many out here who are at a loss. Your ideas might really help them get through this time of year without their spouse which can be so difficult.
I am spending my first Thanksgiving without my H and kids. I will get the kids for Xmas. The hardest part for me is not being able to spend the holiday with my children. This morning my H picked them up to drive out to his hometown/parents place. It was a very difficult morning. I didn't shed a tear, at least not in my H's presence.
So instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself I will be joining another family for Thanksgiving dinner. I am going to try to stay very busy as thinking too much always leaves me in a place I don't care to be.
Me & H: 33 yrs S: 4 & 6 D: 2 M: 9 yrs ILYBNILWY: 8/09 SEPARATED: 9/09 The Beginning
This will be my first holidays since our separation. When we had our s5, I really enjoyed Halloween. I would decorate and cook and have family and friends over. There were many kids and the occasion brought out the kid in me. This year, W was suprised that I wasn't going to have a party. Just too much emotion on my part. It just wasn't the same.
I thank God everyday for my family. Because if it weren't for them, I don't know how I'll get through my first holidays without my W and s5. It's been painful, expecially the thought of Christmas morning waking up and not have s5 and W opening gifts, then going to church. What's ironic is that previous Christmas's W and I had spats in where to go next--there were too many events to fill out the day. Now, just one place--but it will be filled with family that will accept me just the way I am.
Same here, sam. These will be my first holidays w/o WAW. My brother's family is hosting Thanksgiving so I'll be there w/ my S4. W & I haven't discussed Christmas yet but I'm sure we'll both want to have our S with us on Christmas morning. My family has been great through all of this so I'm sure I'll be spending a lot of time w/ them.
Me-39 W-31 S-4 Bomb- 9/5/09 Discovered EA- 9/15/09 Found "proof" that EA is most likely a PA- 10/8/09 W moved out 10/31/09
My family has been great through all of this so I'm sure I'll be spending a lot of time w/ them.
Amen to that! One good thing to come out of this, I have spent more quality time with my young nieces and nephews (ages 1 - 13) and my entire family. We're very close and my s5 is also benefiting of time with cousins. Yes, my family is my crutch--especially during these holidays.
