Well Rabbit, that's the idea right? To do what works... It sounds like you have some great plans... I'm jealous of your trip to visit Nell! Have always wanted to go to Australia! HOpe that works out for you, with or without the H's. :-)
To cut a long story short, Mr Rabbit and I were getting on great for about three weeks, we are separated but after one momentus visit were I totally got his attention back so to speak he declared he'd like to date, so I set up the first date which was a dinner out, dressed up hot to trot, great ML and then left him to organise next one!
He didnt but that week I had a sorta non cold the sort that threatens but doesnt arrive, so we just went out for dinner, where he told me he was busy the next two weekends but he wanted to see me but would come up in the week. So I upped the contact a bit till Wednesday when we fell out a bit chatting on MSN not easy to phone him as his mobile has awful signal, although he moaned I didnt even try, well hes drunk more and more as the week has gone on and I have not spoken to him some nights and left him hanging on msn for hours waiting to talk to me, so he obviously does want to but doesnt want to make the effort to visit the two hour drive!. Tonight he got stroppy cos he wanted to visit tomorrow, I said I was busy which I am second interview, and eventually had to tell him cos he was so stroppy! I know hes very worried about finances, hes not got a contract at the moment hence me getting a job! But I just dont get him, hes gone from all enthuasiastic to stroppy teddy out of pram again. Any male insight would be fantastic, as Im actually getting to the point of wanting to tell him to go take a flying leap, so before I anti DB someone help please!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Didnt leave him hanging on as he could see me on MSN offline so I knew he was there but he couldnt see me!
Truth is I wanted to talk to him but with him drinking it was a sure fire way to get into an argument like wednesday, althought when I said I would get out of his space as I'd probably over done it this week, he wanted me to stay and chat!
I feel like Im dammned if I do and dammned if I dont..
Just feel all wound up now, got second interview tomorrow and doom and gloom boy visiting, was looking forward to a nice peaceful sleep tonight thats gone awal now!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Remember, progress is neither linear nor constant. There will be pullbacks, and you have to ride them out. It will be 3 steps forward, 2 steps back, and when it's stepping back, you have to take your DB back to that level even though you were someplace nicer just recently.
Be fluid and flexible with this. Look back at what worked before and do it again.
Cheers,
Dia
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
You have the same feeling as I do at the moment "damned if I do and damned if I don't" that really sucks doesn't it, sometimes you just don't seem to be able to win.
But as Dia said, pullbacks are inevitable (even once reconcilling begins) and you have to treat the pullbacks exactly the same each time by going back to the DB basics. The pullbacks I found usually got shorter in duration each time.
It seems you can't so much as backslide on happy/sassy people that we have become and we have to continue to validate our H's even though they are acting like little temper tantrum toddlers who aren't getting their own way.
There's more than the two of you in this weird boat! lol Hang in there Rabbit! Dia and Oz thanks for the encouragement to Rabbit about the pullbacks. It is so helpful to remember that bigger picture!
