What you are describing that you need to do is the detachment. That will take some time, but until you can reach that point, you will have some of the roller coaster of emotions.
And another note, you must remember that you can not believe anything that a cheater or WAS says. She is going to continue presenting herself to people as the perfect spouse to society until it is convenient to do so otherwise. She will want to have people believe that you are the cause of the problems and the reason she needed to leave. Unfortunately, you better get used to it.
You need to remember that DB'ing is not a sprint race, it is a marathon. Pace yourself, it is going to be a long ride. In the meantime, you must remember that you need to GAL for yourself, and keep up your PMA!
