25yearsmlc, you hit the nail on the head! Those people cannot and will not admit they are wrong! If they ever do admit wrong, its usually years later and its way too late. I have been preaching this for years on this site! You are one of the VERY FEW who have rebuilt your marriage. I haven't followed your situation, but I will bet you used tough love to do it. The people here who are passive and don't draw the line end up being used as door mats. Chances of reunion are slim under the best circumstances, but nearly impossible unless the LBS is tough. What people don't understand is these MLCer's will drag you along for years, using the LBS as a safety net.
B/H I am not a doormat ....I am my own person I support myself and my daughter...times are tough and money is short but I have found I can do it on my own.You said
"The people here who are passive and don't draw the line end up being used as door mats."
If and when he sees what he has lost and the damage he has done it will be up to me whether he can return not his.He will have to do lots his own work...I am doing it on my own and I have grown in so many ways.
I beleive that a marriage is until death ,but I am not just sitting here waiting for his phone call or his return Only God knows when that is. As far as being passive what is wrong with that????
The word of God in Ephesians says we are to love one another, and to forgive......believe it or not I have peace in my heart that I know comes from God I have forgiven them both...they both live together right now......but until I forgave them I had no peace....no confidence in me and now I have it and it is due to God's grace...believe me I could of caused lots of damage to them and her left behind children she has left but where would of that gotten be but jail time and an embaressment to my family.... 2 wrongs don't make a right...... I am very offended you called us so called "passive people" DOOR MATS....you know nothing about me......and maybe this is the kind of reaction you wanted but I am happy with my life as it is right now and that is due to God's mercy and his grace..... I have pity party moments at times and come here and post but that doesnt mean I am a Door Mat......how dare you!!!
IRMA,I never called you a doormat, I don't know where you came up with that. I was simply talking to 25years about thoughts in dealing with MLCer's, sorry you don't agree with my opinion. I am guilty of hijacking your thread, but that's about it. I have been here going on 4 years and I have seen a lot. I have seen enough to know that the LBS who sets boundaries and makes the MLCer accountable for responsibilites has a better chance. IRMA, you have filed child support papers on your husband. I hardly think that someone who does that and makes her husband accountable for his child can hardly be considered a doormat. Do you? IRMA, believe it or not, I am a christian too, I agree totally with forgiveness and love, but in saying that, it doesn't mean to sit still and let people treat you anyway. I am not implying that he is doing that to you, I am making a general statement. You also made mention of your husband going to church a positive sign, well, it might not be. The Bible clearly says there will be false apostiles, those who pretend to do the Lord's work, but are agents of evil. I believe that marriage is for life, until someone breaks the solemn vows taken for it. The bible is very specific about that as well. Anyway, I was just having a conversation with another person about some thoughts and opinions and I wasn't talking about anyone in particullar, just making a generalization. Sorry for the misunderstanding.
If you would like to email me so we can start pulling this group together and I will put it so that it does not pull up on here if a search is done.
My email is "kevin" "4" "dallas" at yahoo.com. So just take out the quotes and put it together. I had contact with Fightin4mywife tonight. I am going to give him a call tomorrow. He is wanting to get together and form a group.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Hey Kevin doing good....doing some reading in here not much going on with my situation.....still no contact.....I still pray though wont give that up.....I sit here and shake my head sometimes at how many times this has happened to so many of us. I am a woman of faith and am strong in the Lord....but I do wonder what is going on with them......feeling deeper and deeper in love with each other making new memories...but then I think about how I had the best years out of him..children, grandchildren,memories.. all she got is a liar, a lazy man,and man who can walk right out on a marriage without blinking an eye, and a man who cheats on his wife....I think I have said this before..oh well makes me feel better just saying it again.. and how have you been???
