A couple of questions to all the WAS

[TrentC]

You would do well, Alex, to see the value in this rather than baiting and mindreading. It oozes from your posts. Folks here know the pain I suspect you feel. We're about problem solving and support. We offer that to you, too. Be nice.

He hasn't posted here since he started this thread, almost a month ago; I think he left because he didn't get what he wanted out of it.

Nevertheless, I think it's great you addressed his questions. To hear you describe it, it sounds like you are in a similar space to my wife, and I was in a similar space to Coach.

The fact that he stepped up and worked to change what made you unhappy (which is something I've been trying to do -- learned a bit from the answers my wife gave me while I was pursuing early on) and that led to an eventual reconciliation gives me hope.

We're still in the same house, can be affectionate to each other (hugs, the occasional kiss) and are sleeping in separate beds while she tries to work things out for herself. She says she's willing to do MC but won't commit to a timeframe yet. I think she's trying to decide if she wants to stay before taking that step; which to me is putting the cart before the horse, but it's her decision.

Even my friend who is divorced and (happily) remarried says that this is a big improvement over where we were a month ago. She never got that much from her XH, so the fact that we've come this far is a victory in and of itself.