How do we deal with this devastation; this hurt and pain and fear and loneliness? I know I'm a grown man, (49), who should be able to "deal with it," but my 25 yr relationship, kids and all is being stripped from me. My beautiful bride has morphed into a venomous Pit Bull with PMS, entering menopause. And I still love her and want to love her through this. I am so stressed by this I can't sleep or eat well. I don't want to do life without my wife, lover, friend. I hurt.
Been there, done that. This sucks. Dear friend, this just sucks. Like an organ (that you need to live, not a disposable one) is being yanked out from you and you are not certain you can live without it...but you can. Can you tell me what the reasons are that SHE actually says, and what she is DOING that is different? Also her educational level, economic factors, any other 3rd parties, etc. And you mention her PMS,, which I hope you do NOT mention to her, right? I mean, that won't help you even if it's true. And I've seen a friend or two get pretty wacky for months at a time until they got some meds b/c 5-12% of women have a BIG BAD time of it emotionally, to the point of needing meds. But you cannot be the messenger of that news.
need more info from you and will try to catch up on your thread. As you can see by my signature at 25 yrs my h went into an odd MLC. Last summer we had our 28th anniversary and I would not have predicted that 2 years ago...
Keep posting. have you read the DB books? Please do read them, and pay attention as they'll tell you things other books won't and DB works better than most sources and better than most apprpoaches. Also think you should read The Five Love Languages by Chapman. Don't pursue. For now do that reading. If you can at all, CALL and schedule a session with a DB coach. I did a lot of things for my m, but if I could only do ONE thing again, it'd be hiring the DB coach. Please get a session as they're very specific about "things Not to do" and things to do and detaching and all the rest. You are in the right place as gross as it is.
This too, shall pass. And by the way, it's important to be strong for the kids even though they're older. They'll be betrayed someday or face a bad setback and you are modelling how to handle that. They need to see that although your pain is deep, it is not eternal and it is not fatal...you will heal. They're watching you.
Take care,
(( j ))
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
