Magnificent

[mishka422]

Nope. No trick or treating for me. I'm working 2p-11p at the store. Ick!

Had some run ins with Gabe over his lack of communication today but other than that....not much going on.

My mom will be in long-term care in the hospital 4-6 weeks. She has a blood infection that requires IV antibiotics and physical therapy. It royally sucks! The hospital she is in is a 45 minute drive in nasty traffic from here so it's not going to be possible for me to get up there very often. I feel bad about it, but there isn't anything else I can do unless I quit my second job. I can't afford to do that.

Are you going trick-or-treating with the kids?

[BobbiJo]

Yep...Sydney is going to be a witch (she picked it for the purple sparkly broom!) and Nathan is Jango Fett from Star Wars. I will be going as a mom! Maybe a St. Louis Cardinals Fan if I wear some of my sports gear...nothing fancy for me!

Sorry about the situation with your mom, but it is really out of your hands and I am sure it is the best place for her right now. Don't beat yourself up and try to relax when you are home if you can. I am sure you will have lots to help with once she gets back home.

Happy Halloween!!

[mishka422]

How cute! I don't blame her for being drawn to that sparkly broom. Definitely wear the Cards stuff. Heck, put your hair in pigtails, use brow or eye pencil to put freckles on your cheeks and you have a costume! Why not?

Have a good time with your kids. Hope it's not to cold up there tonight.

[mishka422]

Oh yeah......world's largest outdoor cocktail party this afternoon! For those of you not familiar with the SEC....that would be UGA (Georgia) vs. UF (Florida). We're probably going to get killed, but it's always a fun game to watch. Too bad I'm working and won't be able to see it.

Y'all do me a favor and yell "GO DAWGS" every now and then between 3:30p EDT and about 7:30p.

Headed to work now.

[mishka422]

Work was ok. The store has a 'monster bash' every year for Halloween for the kids to come in and decorate cookies in the bakery and trick-or-treat around the store. It's really cute.

I haven't been feeling well so it was hard for me to be too enthusiastic about it, but it was good.

This time of year is so bad for me, but I'm working on finding a happier frame of mind to be in. My life fell apart over what was my favorite time of year 2 years ago and I can't seem to get that out of my head. It's like every good memory I have from Thanksgiving and Christmas from all the years before that are tainted with this darkness. It sucks big time. I wonder how many years it will be before I can look at these holidays with anything other than dread.

Everyone says, "Make new, better memories". That is such a crock. Really? How do you do that with all of that darkness overshadowing your efforts? Yes, I do know that this sounds like I'm wallowing. I'm not, I'm honestly looking for suggestions.

One thing I am hoping to try this year.......NOT COOKING FOR 3 DAYS STRAIGHT TO FEED 40 UNGRATEFUL PEOPLE FOR THANKSGIVING. I don't have the money to do it, I definitely don't have the time, and mom will still be in the hospital then so I probably won't be participating anyway.

The true selfish nature of my family has reared it's ugly head. Not one of my cousins who live here (3 of them and all of their adult kids) has bothered to go see my mom (their aunt). She is a 30-45 minute drive away, in the hospital long term, and none of them has visited or called her. That seems so uncaring and callous of them. I had called one of my cousins to ask if she could please take Marc to karate one night this week so I could go to the hospital after work but apparently "call me if you need anything" didn't include taking 1 hour out of her social schedule to really help out.

I can't take Marc to the hospital with me because they have banned anyone under 18 from visiting due to flu so that means that my mom isn't going to see her only grandson for 1-1.5 months. She's not liking that.

I know I'm rambling. I'm sorry. My body is tired but my mind is whirling. I'm hoping by putting it all down here I might get some sleep. Not likely though.

[Kalni]

I am sorry mish. I keep thinking that something is gonna give for you at some point. Soon I hope. I can understand how overwhelming all feels for you. I dont think I would handle it any better. And it is hard to be optimistic when things are so difficult. Sweets, there isnt much you can do but take each day as it comes and in the meantime take care of yourself.

I hope your mom gets better soon,
xxx
K

Cant you just ask Gabe to take care of the activities Marc has for the next few weeks?

[mishka422]

Cant you just ask Gabe to take care of the activities Marc has for the next few weeks?

No, I can't. More like I won't. I said a few pages back that I refuse to ask Gabe for help with anything. He uses his passive-agressive approach on me any time I ask for his help with Marc. I feel like total sh!t asking, so I'm just not going to. Like I said before, I choose to deal with this from now as if Gabe is dead and I'm a single parent holding all the responsibility since that is how it has turned out anyway.

There is no way that I wanted any of this. There is no way to find any happiness within myself while I'm still trying to deal with Gabe and his manipulations, so I won't. Simple? No. Necessary? Yes.

[mishka422]

Ugh!

Fighting some sort of head/chest cold thing. Fever, mild coughing and aching like crazy. I didn't go to the hospital to visit mom yesterday because of it and she was very upset. Gee mom, you want me to come to the hospital and pass on something infectious to the rest of the patients who are already sick enough to BE IN THE HOSPITAL? NO!

I watched my Packers lose, yet again, to the Vikings and boo hooed through the whole thing. Oh well........I'm still mad at Brett and booed along with the entire crowd there as he trotted only our field wearing purple! For those of you non-fans this is all about football (the American kind...not the one the rest of the world plays)!

No drama is good. Being too busy to have a life is not.

I have an entire week of homework for bible study to do and haven't had time to touch it. I'm thinking it's going to be a late night tonight. I also have a self-esteem journal for C that I'm supposed to be doing daily (with guided questions) but I haven't been able to concentrate on it.


Such is life.........

[oldtimer]

Call the doc, sounds like the flu, and they might still be able to give you tamiflu...

[mishka422]

No doc. No insurance.

Went to the pharmacy and talked to them about what OTC I could take. Theraflu daytime hopefully will knock it out.