I got a nasty letter from her atty. It's all about the money!
MLC wore clothes I purchased her as gifts today...I did not talk to her, texted her directions to the game, she texted back got them and to get my mail. I didn't text back. Self control thing one and it wasn't over anger either. Just it was like a business deal, info was passed.
She and I looked at eachother S wanted to ride home with her and have fun with friends today after the ball game vs hanging with me. I with no neediness in my eyes or face or making anyone feel guilty, I just shrugged and smiled, she shrugged and scowled back. I mean big deal really, I had some stuff I needed to do for myself today anyway.
I asked S to call me when he's going tricker treating and I'll meet him in the neighborhood.
Got some emails from her yesterday, she's still angry and making things up, kept my responses short sweet and nice, DID NOT DEFEND or argue on her put down email. She called me Halloween night to yell at me for something loud enough son heard, I just said she didn't mean it like it sounded. He called her back from his phone and said mom your not being nice and this adventure dad keeps calling it sucks.
I HAVE ONE CHIN, SHOWING THESE KIDS I CAN TAKE IT ON THE CHIN and it is getting easier just to turn the other cheek.
I know it's the MLC and not her.
Reading the bible.
Have the duplex handled with furniture. Had all kinds of friends help me out. So I don't need anything from the house. Really don't want anything, the memories still sting, but I've been practicing locking the memories in a box in my mind.
Reading the patience definition and rereading your threads to me. I may have been hosed based upon the petition she had already made up her mind, but I can work from when she filed forward.
Been bigger than myself with the kids and I intend to honor my word, be helpful if she would just slow down.
I have not initiated any contact other than to give her good directions to a ball game.
When I need a reminder, of what I want to be, when I think I have lost a bit of fire. I find that Invictus by William Ernest Henley fits the bill. Invictus:
Out of the night that covers me, Black as the Pit from pole to pole, I thank whatever gods may be For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears Looms but the Horror of the shade, And yet the menace of the years Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate, How charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate: I am the captain of my soul.
Don't give up Kid. More importantly, do not let anyone defeat you...including yourself.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
She didn't show...my atty came over to me and said she agreed to shared custody, that means 50/50 and cut the heck out of child support for now.
In her email this afternoon She was shocked that I'd go a full wkend w/o seeing the kids. She thinks we're complete opposites, I'm the home body and she's the partier. Would that be an opportunity to 180 her and email sure so I can go out and have fun i've been stuck at home for too long?
She was wanting to know what stuff I want,should she take kids while I empty the house. Don't you love how they want to protect the kids!!! Wants to take my name off utilities and medical ins.
I did not respond to that email,I forwarded it to my atty.
SHE CAN'T GET RID OF ME FAST ENOUGH. Why is that??? Is that normal for a MLC'er to just want to have you out of their life that quick?They really don't remember anything good do they?Their mind is really messed up at this time isn't it, they just flat don't like or love their spouse do they?Is this just escapism on their part? But why do they like and act normal with everyone else?Then they offer something to you like some small act of kindness when you know it isn't,if they offer to help with something it's more of a dig isn't it?
She is for sure more focused on me, more than I on her, especially with getting this marriage overwith.
I know to her, I'm a pest,nucance,stalker,the reason she's angry,unhappy,controlling,needy,fruitcake,home body.
And I think the being nice is bothering her,because she is looking for a fight at every turn and I don't give it to her.
I'm still getting better, it would've been easier not grieveing because of a divorce. But I haven't been needy,I've been independent enough to get help to furnish this duplex and for now the pure confusion of her MLC I get the work schedule I want and my kids. And for now I didn't give up a full wkend day. I'm coaching son's bball and games are Sat and with D being 14 it's already killing her to have to hang with me.
I hope at somepoint when I get even better she'll remember good stuff or am I always going to be the gate keeper to the good for the last 19yrs and to them it becomes mush?
Don’t need anything from the house, thank you for offering.
Utilities, insurance, etc. you should probably talk to your attorney. The petition states those things should not be changed under VIII. Restraint page 5 of the temporary order.
Your weekend with the kids is next week. I’ll pick them up Friday after work and drop them off at school Monday morning. The parenting plan is a 2-2-3 schedule was told yesterday that this week we’re to start at week 2 and next week will be week 1. Don’t think either one of us always wants to be home all of the time and was thinking of the kids wanting to be able to hang out with their friends and stuff on alternating weekends.
What do you think would be easier for you and the kids? Picking them up from the house or having them dropped off by the bus the nights I have them. Neighbor next door does daycare and will watch the house until I get home from work. D will need to come outsideJ I know they’ll have problems, but I can handle them. Yes they can both have friends over and stuff, it will be fun.
The phone and other stuff, can I get back to you? Of course I want to help with other things.
