So, overcast, drizzly day here and I am painting two rooms. Gotta run out and buy candy. Not much, though: 6 houses on my dead-end road, only two with kids.
Doorbell rings twice every Halloween. When wife and I moved here, we came from a large condo complex that not only had a lot of kids, but parents from other parts of town would drop their kids off there, since it was large, safe, and "condensed" (very efficient Trick or Treating!). So we went literally from hundreds of kids for hours to...two .
Wife called earlier to tell me when moving company will be by for all the rest of her boxes and her piano: two weeks from today; talk about advance notice She got a new apartment, eighteen month lease beginning 11/15.
She'll be coming over sometime today to pick up her mail.
The very first decision I made while I was still reading The Four Agreements was to decide to: not take my sitch personally. None of it. Not the bomb, not the leaving, not the continued and escalating distancing. Nor the lies, the rewriting history, editing memories, nor bizarre accusations. None of it. I just don't take it personally. I'm not taking it personally. I refuse. No more.
What a burden that lifted.
Anyway, I am doing nothing tonight for Halloween, except answering the door twice. Just as I always do: with my really cool, very realistic, expensive, Hollywood-quality hairy, fang-y, spittle-y, raging gorilla mask on!
Hey, it's either that or go trick or treating as "guy-with-paint-drips-and-splotches-all-over"
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Quick question for your. I think you read no more Mr. NG. What one is better 4-arguments or NMMNG? Are they complementary? Torn between 4-args and the fear one by S. Jeffers.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
The very first decision I made while I was still reading The Four Agreements was to decide to: not take my sitch personally. None of it. Not the bomb, not the leaving, not the continued and escalating distancing. Nor the lies, the rewriting history, editing memories, nor bizarre accusations. None of it. I just don't take it personally. I'm not taking it personally. I refuse. No more.
What a burden that lifted.
Good for you!
Happy Halloween.
Me: 35 W: 31 S:9 M: 10 years Together 13 MySitch - Ups & Downs She moved out the day before Thanksgiving 2009, over 13 months post-bomb.
Quick question for your. I think you read no more Mr. NG. What one is better 4-arguments or NMMNG? Are they complementary? Torn between 4-args and the fear one by S. Jeffers.
Hey C-bart, I have read them both, and IMHO, if you have 'nice guy' traits, then read NMMNG first, you'll need to correct those issues first, and then work on the 4 agreements.
I read them the other way myself, and think I would have been better off with NMMNG first.
NMMNG can be an eye opening experience, and will cause you to take a very close look at yourself.
Good luck!
M: 41 STBXW: 41 D: 9 Bomb: 4/26/09
On board the D train now..
"Suffering is when we try to change what we cannot."
Quick question for your. I think you read no more Mr. NG. What one is better 4-arguments or NMMNG? Are they complementary? Torn between 4-args and the fear one by S. Jeffers.
They are not complementary.
Honest answer? I bought The Four Agreements and borrowed NMMrNG from the library same day. Opened up NMMrNG, read most of the first chapter and was too upset to go on. True. The author, Robert Glover, nailed it. Nailed me, holding a mirror up to me that was frightening in its accuracy and one that I wasn't ready for just yet..
I decided to save NMMrNG for a (near) future time. When I'm ready to do some serious work. I have incorporated the 1st chapter into my IC sessions, though.
The Four Agreements continues to be and feel liberating.
C-Bart, flip through NMMrNG before you get it. You may say "Nope. Not me." or, "Wow. Wowww...." Who knows? The Four Agreements is universal.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
I read NMMNG about a month ago and wow was it spot on for me. It was like reading my biography. I've been working through the exercises and joined up for an online class with Dr. Glover. Life changing stuff for me. I'm also having my IC work with me through the exercises. She had never read the book but was blown away by the content.
Reason I asked about the four arguments is you really seem to like it. Might be better for me to wait for a couple months so I can focus all my energy on the NG stuff.
Thanks for the information.
_________________________ Me-41 W-39 M-15 yrs T-17 yrs D-12 S-9 S-8 B 5/08 S 1/09
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She got a new apartment, eighteen month lease beginning 11/15. 
