Thanks Lost. The way I look at it, I have put myself on hold for the past 18 months. While I have absolutely no problem with being on hold - in fact I would gladly stay on hold, IF there is the possibility and supporting evidence that my WAS is willing to put forth some true effort and try and save the marriage.
So I did end up meeting for coffee, it was okay but no sparks or real interest by either her or I. It felt more like I was on a job interview to be honest. I think that on my end there was no chemistry because right now I'm not quite ready for this step yet. That was clear to me when I was sitting in my car before going into the coffee shop telling myself that the best outcome would be if she didn't show up!
Who knows maybe I'll be ready in a week, month, or year. Hoping for sooner rather than later - I really do miss having a companion. It has become very lonely, especially when I'm out and see other couples.
