Yikes! Need help, please.

[tristan]

How do you guys do the multiple quotes?

start your text with (quote=XXXX] end it with (/quote] except change the ( to [

If it weren't for the torment my kids were going through, I wouldn't even care that he is gone.

SG. Is this really the way you feel? If it is, I would suggest you seek an IC. You really need to work these feelings out if you wish to have a healthy marrige.

I'm pretty sure his sister has neen diagnosed with depression, and all of them have alcohol issues. My H goes for long periods of time without drinking, then he starts hanging out with young people and turns into a frat boy.

Do you consider his drinking a problem? If so, how?

[Super Girl]

SG. Is this really the way you feel? If it is, I would suggest you seek an IC. You really need to work these feelings out if you wish to have a healthy marrige.

Yes, currently this is really how I feel. He dumped all over my kids, and for that, I can't find a lot to like about him.

Do you consider his drinking a problem? If so, how?

Not normally, he'll go years and barely if even drink, then he'll pal up with some buddies and turn into a drunk.

[Super Girl]

Well that didn't work.

Oh, I left part off. Duh!

[TrentC]

Heh, I was in the middle of pointing it out when you edited your reply.

[Super Girl]

Emergency...my dad said he is going to sit H down and give him hell. Like I said, we live in a house that my parents own, and my dad is concerned that H will screw them over.

Should I let him or should I convince them not to?? That is obviously going to be extreme pressure on H.

Help!

[TrentC]

Don't do a thing; this is between your husband and your father. I was wondering when this would happen.

If your husband tries to accuse you of meddling, tell him the truth -- that you didn't say anything to your parents about it and that this is a result of his actions.

And yes, it is going to be put pressure on your H to put on his Big Boy Pants and start acting like an adult. Which is what this R needs if it's going to move forward, because he is cake-eating like nobody's business.

[Super Girl]

Okay, thanks Trent. I always respect your opinions, even if you play Alliance.

My dad said he was cake eating too. I'm just scared that if my Dad goes off on him, he'll run even further. My parents think if he is going to occupy space in their home, he should be renting a room. I told my dad that H was never there anyway, but my Dad said my H needs his ass kicked.

I'm soooo torn. I waffle between wanting to put my family back together and wishing he'd just go away forever.

[tristan]

Don't do a thing; this is between your husband and your father. I was wondering when this would happen.

If your husband tries to accuse you of meddling, tell him the truth -- that you didn't say anything to your parents about it and that this is a result of his actions.

And yes, it is going to be put pressure on your H to put on his Big Boy Pants and start acting like an adult. Which is what this R needs if it's going to move forward, because he is cake-eating like nobody's business.

Agreed. This is between your H and father.

[Super Girl]

H didn't call the kids to see how their Halloween was, and they never mentioned him. Not sure how I feel about that...

My father just came over with a laundry list of things I needed to do to basically erase H out of my life. He thinks I should go file. Not sure about how I feel about that either...

[TrentC]

H didn't call the kids to see how their Halloween was, and they never mentioned him. Not sure how I feel about that...

I feel sorry for your kids, although it sounds like they may be starting to get used to the idea that dad won't be there for them.

My father just came over with a laundry list of things I needed to do to basically erase H out of my life. He thinks I should go file. Not sure about how I feel about that either...

My father said something similar -- "If she's so sure she'll be happy somewhere else, why not let her?"

Of course this is the same man who left my mother for another woman, had that relationship fall apart, and came back to my mother. So I'm not counting him as an expert on marital fidelity.

Friends and family want you to stop hurting. They don't necessarily want what you think is best for yourself. I'm very lucky in that I have a couple of friends who have gone through a very bitter divorce, or are going through the same thing I am, and want to see my relationship work out.