Help... I need to stop reacting!

[TrentC]

Journaling,
I am trying to figure out why I am so emotional today... just can't stop the tears. Fortunately have the house to myself. I think I am coming to terms with the fact that the old M is gone, and I am grieving that. Because there was so much good. H admits it was a good M. I am just so sad. I know that if there is hope for us it will be a new M. I know that can be better than anything we've had before. But I still have to grieve. And, I am just finding it so hard today.
I have to give myself space to do this so that by the time the family comes home later in the day I can be more detached and GALing.
Just can't handle any challenges today... know I need to go there.... and I will. Today I could just use some encouragement that things can get better. You know it's just one of those days you wish there was someone to put their arms around you and tell you it's going to be ok, YOU are going to be ok. I don't know how much more loneliness I can take.

Things can get better. have there been any encouraging signs? Change in affection from your H? Hopeful comments? (I'm not sure about the "H admits it was a good M"; was that a mournful comment or a "maybe we can work things out"-type comment?)

And yeah, I can use those comforting hugs as well from time to time. Sending you a long-distance one now...