Turning Arrows Into Flowers

[Concerned_Listener]

Matilda, Aud, JoJo, and DB Friends,
I took the day off to accompany my W to her colonoscopy. She had three polyps, and is on an every three year schedule. Her dance friend, who has been over quite a bit lately, wanted to be there. His presence was helpful, as my W was quite anxious about the process.

She describes him as her girlfriend. He goes shopping with her, eats at restaurants with her (the things I don't enjoy doing). Their relationship is hot and cold. He apparently isn't talking to her, because she didn't dance enough with him, one night this week. I try to stay out of it.

I tried out a different dance teacher this week. I consider him to be possibly the best male dance teacher in town. I'm excited to have the opportunity to take lessons from him. He came to one of our monthly ballroom chapter events to teach a lesson, and market himself. He has started teaching group lessons, not far from where I live. He is technigue-oriented, which is what I want. The studio where he is teaching, seems to attract the local competitive ballroom dancers. The studio where I was taking lessons, attracted beginning social dancers. I'm going to change my focus from learning many different dances, to focusing on the latin and smooth dances.

I've started reading Reaching Out: The Three Movements of the Spiritual Life by Henri Nouwen. The first movement is loneliness to solitude (I think I've got this one down), the second is hostility to hospitality (the one I'm working on with my W and others), and the third is illusion to prayer (I'm not sure what this is).

I'm trying to be careful about how I treat my W. I'm watching my words and thoughts carefully. It's a struggle, as love and self-centeredness, and judgment wrestle often in my mind.

I plan on accompanying my W to a latin venue tonight. I enjoy my ballroom friends, but they don't replace dancing with my W, so I'm glad to be reconnecting with her in public.

My back has been nagging me this week with inflammation, making it sometimes painful to sit. I must have injured it at some point this year, either tearing or straining something. I've only missed one night of dancing due to my back, as I think movement is more helpful than rest. Articles and books I've read stress the importance of strengthening and stretching and being active, and that rest is counterproductive, unless one is in significant pain. I've noticed when doing Pilates, that my core is still somewhat weak, so hopefully I'm on the right track. I'm guessing my body is telling me that if I want to dance, than I need to make it stronger to meet the demands I'm putting on it. There doesn't seem to be a quick fix to this type of problem, but rather a willingness to make lifestyle changes. I do get relief with chiropractic, so continue bi-weekly.

CL