Trying LRT - Please Help!

[TrentC]

I am currently trying the 180. I actually haven't had a lot of time to dwell on things as my support network has kept me quite busy. At the same time, I am doing a lot of things I used do before the kids. It has been a long time since I have found some quality "me" time.

Since I have not been in contact with him, I am not sure how much of this 180 he is really aware of. That is why I am so nervous for tomorrow. I want to get this right.

Then here is your first lesson on the power of the 180: it only works if you don't care what your husband thinks. 180s should be done for you. If he thinks you're doing it for him, then it will come across and manipulative or fake. Because it is.

As for getting tomorrow right, the important thing is to be upbeat and positive. Act As If. If he comes in and sees you positive and upbeat, it will make him wonder what's going on with you. And anything that makes him question his assumptions or plans increases the chance that he will come back to you.

If he tries to initiate relationship talk, either tell him it can wait until later -- that oughtta throw him! -- or stick to validating his feelings without taking ownership of them.

Him: "We don't communicate effectively."
You: "You are right, we have had that problem recently."
Him: "I haven't been happy for a long time."
You: "I understand, and I'm sorry that you feel that way."