Question

[ClingingToHope]

Hey Awest, good that I was a bit of an inspiration. Weird thing for me is considering the finances and what will happen if we get divorced actually gives me peace. I'll actually end up better off than I am now.

I'm having a "doubt God's plan" night. I shouldn't. If God's plan was to give me health (good although the hernia slowed me down), a satisfying career (good although motivation has been a problem) and a beautiful family (two wonderful girls who are sitting here watching TV with me) then I can't complain.

Even the timing isn't that bad. Thanks to Facebook I've reconnected with tons of friends and family. If this had gone down a year ago I wouldn't have adjusted as well.

Still, tonight is tough, TOUGH. I don't know how you handle the OW problem so well. I found out who my W may be going out with. I don't know if it's an EA, a PA or just a friend helping her readjust socially, but it's eating me up tonight.

I try to imagine that God is a rock in the middle of the ocean and I'm clinging to him. Tonight the water is rough and up to my eyes. I feel like letting go. My strength is fading. Hate is rising in me. I feel like I can't be happy until she is miserable. That's a horrible thing, but I can't stop myself.

My girls look at me and one said earlier that I looked depressed. How do I forgive and forget?