Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Well, my bravery crumbles as time goes on. The thought of W going out on a double date is me bothering more and more.

I would have loved to go out more often. These past three years she showed no interest in doing anything together. Of course, she said it's been over about that long -- despite the several times the wall appeared to go down.

My head tells me this is good. If she is going to ever think about us again she has to get out there and eventually realize I was THE person for her.

That doesn't help me right now. The girls and I are watching TV. They think I'm working. In about an hour I'm taking a sleeping pill so I don't stay up all night.

I wish now I hadn't agreed to let W take the girls trick or treating at her work. I just don't want to see her. Hopefully, after tomorrow I won't have to see her again until Thanksgiving.