Questions for The DB'ing Pros - Help!

[Gardener]

So, some people here have told me to go dark or dim (I actually am a little dim, not calling unless she calls me, not answering the phone right away, not offering any info as to what I am doing when we are not together, etc)

This is good.

if I go really dark or don’t return her phone calls,

This is not good

how are we ever going to get this back on track? How is she going to see the changes I have made in my life?

Even if you only saw her once a week or even less, you are being watched. And she will "get reports". I agree with Kevin:she's testing the waters.
Be patient. Remember: marathon, not sprint.
Good luck.

p.s. Holidays will be tough. Inevitably. How tough will be your choice.