Thought I would just drop in here to update but I have been lurking around and posting on other threads.
All is still progressing along nicely but I am still very conscious of continuing to DB and not let things slip into old patterns again. Still doing the same things, maintaining appearance, going to the gym, doing things with friends (although I have backed it off a bit).
We have been doing more things together which has been really nice, feel like a normal couple again.
Had D's birthday on the weekend and S came home for that, it was nice going out for a family dinner which we have not done in so long I can't remember the last time.
H is really flat at the moment, stress of work is getting to him, so I am just trying to be supportive, looking after him etc.
We are looking to the future, buying the holiday house and planning a holiday to the US hopefully next year, I would love to go to New York, H would like to see Denver again. Any suggestions on other places we should see whilst we are there?
Good to hear you are well and things are going nicely for you! The family dinner sounds lovely, bet it was really special being together. I loved New York not all as I expected, so easy to get around, would love to go again maybe one day!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Need some urgent advice. H appears to be backsliding a bit. Out of the blue yesterday I get a text saying he is funny about doing sex games (earlier in the thread, we started doing some role playing etc when we got back together), he kept encouraging all of this and then wanted to know fantasies I might have etc, you get the picture.
Now he says it isn't for him and he has gone all strange and quiet again, now sends me a text that he is going away jet skiing tomorrow but leaving this afternoon. Says he needs think time.
I explained to him yesterday, that I don't need sex games etc etc to enjoy ML, he accepted this, but he is still funny.
What do I do, do I just leave him be, I think he feels too that because he gets tired a lot from work he does not feel like sex a lot and seems to think I need it all the time (not true)and this appears to get him down.
Any urgent advice on how to handle this would be greatly appreciated.
Think youve probably worn the poor old thing out lol! No sorry I know its not a laughing matter. Dont panic allow him some thinking time, and dont get all upset about him going away again, being gracious about not getting huffy about his man time will earn you brownie points..
Just out of interest does sex just happen, sorta impromptu or are you making plans a bit. Sorry if thats a bit to personal, but at the moment from my POV I am making things naughty and sassy so my H wants to come back, just wondered if next time youre in the mood, plan something a little more low key, take time for him, a nice massage and even let it go if he ends up snoozing instead of making love!
Perhaps hes getting worried that hes not making it exciting enough for you and being the worry wart he is wondering if youre gonna look else where!
Dont know if that helps at all but the most important thing is just to stay calm about it all. Sex is embarrassing to talk about for most of us so give him time and let him know your open to talking about his needs.
Huge hugs as this must be the first spanner in the works so to speak.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
No we don't plan sex as such, it just happens, sometimes I initiate sometimes he does, did give him a nice massage last night without any intention of it going any further, we did fool around a bit but nothing more.
Funny, I told him I agreed to doing all the naughty sassy stuff because I thought he would view me as not being adventurous or that I was boring.
H is the one that kept it going, I was quite happy to move on from all that.
He will be home at 2.30pm to get ready to go away. How should I react, should I mention anything.
Personally just look your normal drop dead georgous self, and if he doesnt say anything just wish him a fantastic weekend and give him a kiss that will make him wish he was staying!
If he does mention it I'd just validate his feelings, something along the lines, of well enjoy your weekend, it will be good for you to have some space to think things through, it must be tough working at our relationship sometimes especially with the long works hours too, but I do appreciate it and would love to hear your thoughts when you come back. Then give him a kiss which will make him wish he had stayed!
Hope that helps!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I just don't get them, one minute, happy as, the next, all miserable again. I think what annoys a bit is that he kept pushing for all the fun and games and then I get the blame, work it out, I can't.
Hi Oz, Sorry to read of the little glitch here. H needs some space I guess. I go along with the others and say let him go graciously. Hopefully, with space he will be able to explain his concerns more fully. The problem may not even be the sex, just the reason he has given for the concerns he feels at the moment. It would be part of this transition. While he's away what will you do? Where will you go? Don't sit at home
Go to the movies or browsing at the shops. Actually buy something new to perk yourself up. Wish we lived closer!! Have you seen Julie and Julia or Mao's Last Dancer? I am going to Michael Jackson movie Sunday night
