[DownNotOut...yet]

I've actually read both of the books this article quotes. What I took away from them was that the new hard line stance that has come into vogue around here via guys like Puppy, Gucci, Robx and perhaps Coach is the way to go.

Manning up and throwing down boundaries hard and fast and then walking, for real, if they are not respected is your only chance. Obviously you have to look at what went wrong and change but that might not be enough. These books say that sometimes nothing went wrong other than the women got bored. Those books state that once a certain threshold has been crossed and the women get a taste of the affair high, there is little you can do to win them back. If you go wuss boy, you will spend the rest of your life trying to please them and you will never be able to get it right. The only thing she loves about you is the secure feeling of the reliable stand by...she chose to stick with plan B...YOU.

Those two books are scary and sobering. I am not totally convinced they are 100% correct. Interesting to note, however, is the author stated that the men who did get their wives back, threw their asses OUT. Most women just kept walking. Some came back and things got fixed. The men who appeased, changed, validated, enabled; some kept their wives but they lost their balls, lived in limbo and are miserable schmucks. Often with wives who are having great sex...with someone else.

Really comes down to, I think, and I can only speak for husbands, many of us know the truth, deep down we do but we are two chickensh!t to force our wives cheating hand and walk if need be, so we come here for years. I am sort of guilty of this myself. Things get just enough better to stick at it and I keep plugging along but I think I am almost 3 years in. I quote the book "Before we were married, I could do no wrong. Now I can do no right." That might be a Rodney Dangerfield quote too.