any advice on what I should / shouldn't do tonight would be appreciated.
Well, for one, don't make contact with your wife. You called her and wished her a happy anniversary, she responded, now leave her alone.
Maybe, just maybe, she may take time to consider what it means to be alone on her anniversary. But she won't if you keep reaching out to her.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement