You and I are almost in the same position. We keep getting sucked back in and the pain starts all over again.
Rule #1: no sex with him. I don't have that with my wife. I can only imagine how this can mess with your mind. Don't lose your sense of self gina. It is the one thing you have. You and I have put that on the shelf too long. We are making it back, don't let it go...
Rule#2: You have to be healthy. You are the one running the household. If you go down, then your daughter gets even lost further. If you need to move out of the bedroom, do it. You can make up any excuse for a 4 year old--daddy snores, whatever..
Rule #3: Continue to focus on detaching. My wife and I are back in marriage counseling. Her choice. I am working so hard on not having my head go back to "hoping". I have to just see it as us learning to communicate again.
Rule #4: Don't be the victim. Don't let him drive this thing Gina with I am staying because I can't afford to move out. You and I both don't want our marriages to end. But we need to continue to move forward for our sanity. If that is seeing a lawyer, getting a few names for a mediator. This will let them know you aren't going to pushed around. Doesn't mean you are going through with anything yet. Just letting him know, you aren't going to live like this forever.
I have to go pick up the kids, the wife is "out" again this evening. will talk more over the weekend.
Remarried 6 mo S 12 S 13 S 16 SD 12 SD 16 SD 17 SS 19
