I do not mind the hijcak at all:)
I feel like as this point I have started to move on. "Supposed" OW is doing things at work that are to antogonize me such as showing up with her 5 year old daughter after work in her workout clothes with a full face of makeup and her hair done saying she just went running so I could hear her...I wish she would just leave me alone or I could learn to ignore it..See..really..I never thought she really wanted my h I just thought she wanted to be me. I am not being conceited because I am far from that..but she is a follower. My H is giving me no choice but to detach from him. Thank you for all the wonderful advice..I am working on using it. I can forgive him but I WILL NEVER forgive her..because she has been doing this to me for 3 years now..she is in competition with me...She is NUTS..it is starting to wear on me..I want to say..you know what..take my H but it will not ruin me..it will only make me better..that is where I am at now. My H continues to play games with me..going in basement to sleep and I just let him go..last night I asked him if he wanted me to lay down w him and he said yes..he hugged me for a while and then pushed me away and told me to go upstairs to bed..I said yeah..you are right..I better go upstairs...With him I am just getting tired of his games too..I really just want to be a great mom to my kids and be a fantastic role model and I want to reach my goals that I set for myself in life..My H can come along if he wants but I have done so much for him...and now..he is letting me down..I am starting to ask myself..what has he done for me? he has NEVER fought for me and I have been fighting for him for 10 years and I am done fighting for him..done playing games..if he wants to be with me he needs to change..because I have made BIG BIG BIG changes..no emails, no phone calls, no nagging, no relationship talking,trying to stop pursuing..when he left one night I said okay see you..I did not cry beg or plead..if he hates me so much and does not want to be married why the HE** does he just NOT leave! I mean really...I am a GREAT catch..I am really starting to realize that. I think he holds ME back! Enough ranting..that is where I am at.