I have another thread "H w/1 Foot Out The Door" on the newcomers forum. We went to our Retrouvaille weekend last week and have had "homework" to do all week that involves communicating through a technique called dialogue. Last night the question was "How do you feel About attending The Follow-up Retrouvaille session on Saturday" his answer was. "I feel hopeless like there is no hope whatsoever. I feel like I am in a ball game and the score is 10 to 0 bottom of the 9th and there's only 1 batter left. There is no chance to win so why even try. If my feeling was a color it would black like a hole that's covered with dirt that I can't get out of without any light anywhere. Looking for light is even pointless because you are so far underground that light has no possibility to exist. My feeling of hopelessness on a scale of 1 - 10 is an 11.
The night before the question was "Think of a time you would like to go back to with your spouse. How do you feel when you think about that time". His response was "I'm thinking of our wedding. I feel depressed like a man who has the only losing lottery ticket and all the others are winners. The color of my feelings would be the blue and red on a cop car flashing it's warning saying "Stop right there, dont' go any further" My feelings of depression on a scale of 1 - 10 is a 10.
Please tell me how I am supposed to react to this. I know I'm supposed to "act as if" but those are so blantently telling me that he is "gone" in such a horrible hurtful way that its really hard to not react. Do I just go on just doing my thing as I have been? He says he's still going to the Retrou follow-up session tonight but he is not going to save his marriage, he's going like the way he would go to an Opera. He hates the music, isn't interested in the words but is curious how an opera works.
I'm just to frustrated and lost. WE were doing so well and now after our session he's going out iwth all his single guy friends and he's taken off his wedding ring which he put back on a few weeks ago. He even went back to sleeping on the couch last night. Am I supposed to act like none of this is registering with me? Please tell me what I'm supposed to do!! I really need some help.
Peace,
Gina
I haven't found the other thread yet. Can you give me a recap. Why did he start feeling like this? EA/PA? Was he abusive? Were you abusive? (yes I'm asking if you were abusive to your husband, this is an online forum, you have your anonymity, be honest about everything & anything) Kids?
I don't mind helping but i'd love a quick recap of how this started and where you are right now.
