Is this the end of my marriage?

[P17]

You asked about why your W would be hurt if she truly had moved on with OM.....and I suppose you meant when you blew up at her? The biggest reason is b/c it would be hard to stand there and listen to what you said and not have some reaction.
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If she is used to seeing or hearing this side of you....then it certainly does no good and digs your grave quicker.

I agree with all of that and as I said I shouldn't have done it. I was so mad at what she had done though that I just had to tell her. I realise it's put me 5 steps back but as you said, what's done is done.

Only if your W contacts asking something regarding your D should you tell her information. You do not need to use an excuse that you would think she "should" want to know or that you are doing it for your D or even that you are doing it for "their" R. It is an excuse plain and simple.

Nail on the head. I regretted it almost as soon as I did it. I justified it to myself that she just doesn't seem to care about my D and I am bending over backwards and taking a lot of flack to keep their R together. I don't want a thank you but some sort of interest to show me that everything I am doing is not in vain would be nice.

I will remember 'only if it's an emergency' rule.

It's good that you have a day that you feel strong, but then don't be surprised and let down when you discover that the next day you feel weak. It is normal. Be careful the decisions you make on either day b/c it will be based on your emotions--and that's not good.

Today and yesterday were very bad days. I cleared out the rest of my W's stuff from the house (I have nothing left - no pics, no trinkets, no little gifts she gave me, nothing). I found a Fathers Day card from this year that said 'To my darling P17, I cherish every moment with you. You're the best dad in the world' and I was off crying like a child. All the usual - how could she go from that to this in a matter of months. The day got worse when I found out I have financial issues with the bank (I no longer have access to my accounts - nothing to do with W).

Today, not quite as bad but it's getting there ... good days and bad days. No major decisions being made though.

[quoute]You know what you can't handle and what upsets you....so you are smart in that respect.[/quote]

I have stuck to that boundary and actually pretty pleased with myself. Had to enforce is a few times now but did so without any hesitation. Also resisted driving down her street or looking for his car in her driveway.

Just don't be blindsided by sticking your head completely in the sand.

What do you mean by this?