I really hope you don’t mind me asking for your specific help but Looking for Help and K4D told me that a tough love approach may be more appropriate for my issue. I guess you may be the somewhat of the “go to” peeps for this type of stuff. So, they told me to seek your advice.
I have so many people in my life telling me to leave. I do have a handful that are of my opinion that you stick it out and do whatever you can to save the marriage if possible because it’s what best for everyone, including the kids.
I also want you to know that I love my husband. This isn’t just about my DD. This is also about my love for my husband. And don’t think that I don’t know that it’s a little about my codependency too. ;-)
Right now I’m just trying to formulate a plan. Something I can steer by. Right now, I’m feeling like I lost a bit of the control I had over myself. I know I can’t control the situation or him but I can control myself and I’ve lost that and it feels like he is now in control again….of everything including me.
I do believe I need a tough love approach. I’m scared, of course, that it might backfire but since we are living in the same house, I’m not sure what tough love would look like in this case. Also, financially we both HAVE to contribute to our household finances to make our family engine run. There is NO way that I can do this without this financial help. That’s part of the mess we are all in.
Thanks for the input and advice. I really need all the help I can get.
Gina B
M 43 H 34 D 4 H asked for D on 6/21/09:1st D mediation 7/27;D says he wants to try 8/18; *I will stumble, I will fall down but I will not be moved.(N.Grant)
