In a divorce and separation these needs have to be broached ahead of time. Setting boundaries, like you did, is a good thing even if it makes you seem like the bad guy.
I agree Gypsy. I had a similair conversation with a friend last night regarding my D11. She is invited to a Halloween party tonight, her dad's weekend. She asked me if I was picking her up from the party because dad said it was my responsibility to get her to his house. It is my responsibility to get her there Friday at 5:00....after that it is his job to take her where she needs/wants to go. D22 told me he has no intention of taking her or picking her up. My friend said if she was in the situation, she would make sure her daughter got to go, even if it means changing my plans. But it isn't my responsibility, nor is it my time with the kids. (My X threatened to call the sherriffs regarding custody violation because he wasn't going to take S10 to baseball practice during his scheduled visitation so I said I would do it.) X never said anything to me about the Friday night party for D11 and she thinks she is going. Luckily I heard D22 talking to her boyfriend and she said something about taking D11 to the party. I am so greatful to have my adult daughters who will pick up the slack that X leaves in his wake of selfishness!!!
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Instead of feeling manipulated, look at the big picture.. and see what works best for you, your boundaries and your children.
I tried to tell my friend that I cannot, nor should I have to, cover all of his inadequacies! I won't be manipulated and tried to be portrayed das the bad guy either. I have very clear boundaries!!!!
You know what you're doing with your X FLTC! Keep it up!
"You can't stop the waves, but you can learn to surf." Jon Kabat-Zinn
