I am never coming back !!!!!!!!

[25yearsmlc]

Braveheart...sadly you are right. Often they just cannot be alone b/c then that would mean somehow, in some odd way, they must have been "wrong"....

The lbs'er usually WANTS to be alone for awhile, if they're healthy. They want to process their loss, learn from it so it won't happen again, and heal...so they do some soul searching. The WAS usually does no soul searching until after a few more failed R's, if then, and we can only hope the failed R"s don't involve children.

My fil is in a good m now, I have to admit. But it's his fourth...no lie. My "new" mil is a widow from a 40 year M and never had a crazy M before. She has taught him a lot about what healthy m's look like. So when she married my fil, who had improved but still had much work to do, she just didn't put up with any of his M ending garbage. But she loved him like a "velvet glove in an iron fist" and she did not "need" him; she loved him. They are still together and it's the happiest and kindest he has ever been in the 30 years I've known him. So People can change and improve even after the age of 55. But they have to want to. And he only did the "gee, maybe it's ME" soul searching after wife #3 left him. Go figure.
Better late than never.
Anyhow, hugs!!
j-