SO2 In my OP I would not do the tgiving thing. The only thing it would do I feel is make xH look and feel like the perfect D/H and feed his ego.

He left, he is having A's he needs to suffer the cosequences of his actions.

Besides you don't want to be on pins and needles for Holidays do you?

Just my Op up to you.

PS: You can talk to BIL and SIL even when it isn't the Holiday can't you.

JAK

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when, you can only decide how you're going to live now. ~Joan Baez