I have been following along, just been quiet. I want to give you a gentle reminder that I often need to give myself (or get from friends)...try to turn your mental focus back towards yourself. I see a lot of your thinking directed towards what your wife is thinking. This is normal...and human...and we all do it in all of our relationships...and it is fruitless.
Mindreading gets us nowhere. Take that considerable will power of yours and use it to keep working on making your life all it can be.
I hope this is coming across as I intend it...a kind nudge. I need those sometimes, too, and have the good fortune of having friends willing to give them to me.
I think you are showing amazing strength through all of this, JR.
