Yes, the whole family is up for the trip. I even feel better about it now. Yeseterday I felt rather calm and normal. That was nice for a change. I woke up feeling a little worse today, but not bad.
Other than the financial aspect, I am not going to help wife move. I don't think she even wants me to. She says she doesn't even want me to know where her apartment is, and that's fine with me. At this point, she says she still plans on being in the house quite often. She even said she will still do the Sunday cleaning and make Sunday dinners. I know that by allowing that I will be letting her have the best of both worlds and that goes against db philosophy. But I think dbing is only one philosophy and is not 100% right for all situations.In dbing, we try to make it tough for them to live their "fantasy". I have decided that if my wife chooses that fantasy life, then so be it. If on the other hand, she chooses to come back, then I know she came back only because our "second marriage" will truly be a better option than anything else. I only want to try a second time, if it's 100% genuine and real.
I know lots of you will disagree with that, but it is right for me.
Now a little update... When I came home from work last night, wife and I watched a movie together in bed. Again, much like sleeping in the same bed it was no big deal.
I have started reading the Love Dare. It gives you things to do over a 41 day period to transfer your marriage. Again, it goes agianst dbing in some ways, but I think there is a way to combine both concepts. The following is what I would like feedback on.
Since wife and I will be "together" for the next month and somewhat in December, what if I temper the approach in Love Dare, while still GAL and not beeing needing or pursuing etc. It might just give my wife something to miss when she leaves. Worst case, it will make things easier between us later. I have no intention of ever hating her or anything like that.
Then...after she moves out, I put dbing principles into place more and go almost dark. Make a point of not being available to her, around the house when she's here to see kids, not be available when she calls etc. I even intend to purposely leave books like "Uncoupling" where she can see them when at the house.
While my ultimate goal is to have her return for the right reasons and start a new marriage based on new principles, I will genuinely start the new year with my 4 goals in mind: work on me, develop deeper relationship with my kids, prepare house for eventual sale, and do better at work to earn more money next year when it's needed. But...if I happen to leave hints out to show that I am doing that, then let's see how that affects my wife.
Whew...that was a long one. I hope it all makes sense. I have it right in my mind, but would still like to hear what others think.
