For those with a WAS...How do you cope?

[Gardener]

I'd wait to see what he does or asks to do on his own. He's her father; he know what day it is.

If he complains about not being asked you could always say, "You're her father. You don't need 'to be asked'." or "Well, you didn't want to join us last year so I figured if you did this year you would; if you didn't, you wouldn't."

It's understandable that you want him there for the experience and the memory of DD. But you cannot affect or control the ideal situation: That he wants to be there for the experience and the memory of DD.

FWIW, IMO, my $.02, etc.