more of the same -= a great night with H - he offered me a beer, we walked to the store, hung out and laughed a lot.
And then I f***ed it up again. A month or two ago, I spilled a smoothie by the stereo - well, I didn't tell H - as you know, I'm terrified by his anger. This was still a bad idea.
The stereo shuts off tonight. H looks inside to find out why - the smoothie had gone into the electronics. Another classic move by me and exactly what drives him crazy about me. And that I didn't tell him about it. And that he's had that stereo for almost twenty years and he loves it. How do you make up for something like that?
He stayed calm, which was a miracle. DBD, I did just agree with him. I have also since not allowed any food in the living room. Because been known to constantly spill things.
Why did I not tell him about it right away so he could fix it? Why did I think if I closed my eyes, the problem would go away? I don't understand myself. All I know is I am trying to change.
H did also try. He expressed upset without being abusive and asked for space when he started feeling too angry. But I swear it's hard not to blame myself when I make so many dumb mistakes like this.
