A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Gardener]

Dia, sounds like you two are doing real well. That's great.

There were lots of potential resentments and insecurities flying about, but I think we did well.

The word resentment caught my eye, here and I thought I'd pass along two thoughts: one general and one personal.

1)I read recently (I forget where), "Being resentful is like taking poison every day hoping your enemy will die."

2) During much ruminating about my death-spiraling marriage these past couple of days, I thought of a number of resentments I had begun harboring towards wife during (what I thought was) the relatively short, somewhat-disconnected period between us pre-bomb. Somehow it hit me that while some, if not all, of the "stuff" I resented her for was real, I was actually deflecting and redirecting resentments I felt toward myself: resenting my not speaking out about the "stuff", resenting my own aversion to conflict by keeping the "stuff" inside, etc. Resenting my own inaction, head-in-the-sand passivity and lack of taking the lead.

Don't know if that makes any sense; it seems difficult to articulate adequately, but to me it was like the scales falling from Saul's eyes.
And deserves more reflection and examination. When we resent someone's actions could it be that it's always a disguised resentment of our own inaction and non-response to it?

Even though my reading your resentment reference brought it to the fore, I probably should have posted this ramble on my own thread...

But, As long as I'm here, young lady...my place is a mess! What's this I heard about a party after I left Tuesday night....?