He just called and I asked him if he wanted me to tell the kids not to call. I didn't want him accusing me of not letting them call. He said they can call, but not to let them call constantly because it hurts too much.
He just called and I asked him if he wanted me to tell the kids not to call. I didn't want him accusing me of not letting them call. He said they can call, but not to let them call constantly because it hurts too much.
What a prince.
I'm so sorry the fact that his kids are upset, confused, and miserable is so painful to him.
Last edited by TrentC; 10/29/0910:37 PM.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
It is pretty crazy. I wonder if he'll come to his senses because he's hurting them, or if their crying (pressure) will push him further away?
If I could, we would all stop contact with him, but that's petty and he's their father.
SD, I think you are too considerate of his concerns. What is best for your children? What is best for you? Are your children happier after talking to him on the phone?
No, they're sobbing and shattered after they talk to him. That's why I kind of think it would be best if they didn't see or talk for a bit, but maybe they need to even though they're crushed.
No, they're sobbing and shattered after they talk to him.
It is clearly not good for them to talk to him right now (almost sounds like children talking w/another child). At the very least, I would drastically cut back on contact for now. Perhaps even take phone away when they start crying and telling H "Okay, that's enough for this call. They're clearly getting upset now so let's end it." IMHO
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
Thanks for the feedback. I will try to redirect them into something fun when they start asking about him. Might wake him up a bit if he sees none of us want to deal with him.
My parents invited us over for dinner last night. Of course, they included him because they're trying to stay neutral. He got there a little late because of traffic. We had already eaten, and I left for home so he could spend time with them. It wasn't 5 minutes after he got there that my oldest left for home. She didn't want to visit with him. She was crushed after seeing him.
He texted me to see how she was, and I replied I didn't have time for him I was busy with our sobbing daughter. He replied...it's best for everyone, so I said...yes it is.
Since I'm going to sway the kids away from calling, I should be able to totally ignore him today. It's tricky with little children.
He texted me to see how she was, and I replied I didn't have time for him I was busy with our sobbing daughter. He replied...it's best for everyone, so I said...yes it is.
SG. If you don't have time. Don't event take the time to text back. Handle your life and when you get a chance and if you feel a need to reply, simply text back something like "She is doing better today." or whatever. He does not need immediate responses from you right now. In fact, it sounds like your daughter is old enough that if he needs to know how she is doing that he can just find out from her. Is there a reason you are an intermediary?
He can ask to talk to her if he would like to know. Don't let him get you caught up in his drama. How was his relationship with D12 before he left? Is there more to her not wanting to talk to him?
