I agree w/Bill about you will need to have H explain himself to you at some point so you can understand why he did what he did. Also, I completely agree w/the need for time to let this all work out.
H is guilty and that is a good thing for him to share w/you. Remember, it is still deeds instead of words. You also mentioned that he hasn't said he loves you. Maybe he can't for some reason. I don't know, but he could possibly be locked up where love is concerned.
However, has he been "loving" in his actions? Just a thought that he may be able to show you rather than tell you right now.
The fact you don't trust him is natural and will only dissipate in time. He will have to continually work to earn your trust, so he needs to know this too will not be a quick fix...nor should it be (again, this is where I found "After the Affair" to be helpful and enlightening).
Finally, concerning counseling, you said:
Quote:
I may have to look harder.
I think this is it. You'll need to find a counselor that is willing to work for what you want and your agenda. It may take a lot of work and a lot of "interviewing" but in the end, a good counselor can make a lot of positive difference.
