I echo what Stuck said. You appear to still be doing it for your H and not God. You have to do it for you and God or it is not real. By saying isn't that showing your H you still love him by serving God says that you are doing it for your H's approval.

You have to rid yourself of this mentality. You can do this.

Kevin

Me 36, W 37
M: 08/02/97
D13, D9
1st Bomb 02/08
Reconciled 04/08
2nd Bomb: 09/08
W filed for D 02/04/09
Separated 03/09
D dismissed 06/09/09
Still separated...