So...yeah, I know your sitch feels tricky, and to be honest, I don't think I have all the answers after having been in this fight for years now, but here's my first reaction:
You sound pretty self-aware, understand that boundaries and GAL are key, and they are. H's issues are his issues and nothing happens with them until he decides to do something about them.
Gosh, that looks like a simple concept on the computer screen. In reality, it's a daily battle, figuring out what your boundaries are, finding the strength to stick to them, finding ways to distract and care for yourself...if you put everything you have into that, you'll know what to do when it's time. In the meantime, I fully support Jack's suggestions: enjoy the good moments, and do everything you can to show him (and you!) how truly great you are.
