I think you should say to your husband "Some psycho left a rather obscene voice-mail message for me on my business line, which I really don't appreciate. I'm in the process of finding out who it is, but I thought you should be aware."
Watch his reaction very closely and remember every detail on his reaction. Watch his facial reactions. Watch his body language. Let us know how he responds.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
I think you should say to your husband "Some psycho left a rather obscene voice-mail message for me on my business line, which I really don't appreciate. I'm in the process of finding out who it is, but I thought you should be aware."
Watch his reaction very closely and remember every detail on his reaction. Watch his facial reactions. Watch his body language. Let us know how he responds.
Yes. Especially the part where he wets himself, that's very important.
No calls or texts from H yesterday. Last night I heard H get home and come in through kitchen garage door around 10pm. My bedroom door was completely open and I was sitting at my desk on my computer which faces the wall with my back to my door and the rest of the room. Heard him out the kitchen and I just stayed busy doing was I was doing. Next thing I know I feel someone's hand on my shoulder touching me and I jumped and screamed. H laughs hysterically "I got you, I sooooo got you." This used to be one of H's favorite things to do to me, try and scare or startle me all the time whenever he would see a good opportunity to do so. H still laughing - "That was so good, it was just too perfect, and I couldn't resist. You screamed and jumped and everything." My nerves calmed down and we both laughed together. SOOOOO felt like old times. Hadn't felt the rush of those feelings and emotions, a brief, but "real" connection like that in a long time.
H asked if I would help him with some more of our condo sale paperwork. I said "sure". H went back to kitchen to get something to eat. As he was about done eating I walked by him and casually said "Oh, by the way, I was clearing out the messages on the machine last night and someone left a very unpleasant message. It's still on there if you want to listen to it." H - starts following me into office and says "Am I supposed to know who this person is?" AFG - shrugging my shoulders "I have no idea." H goes to machine and presses play, listens to message. Looks at phone caller ID and repeats the phone number that is displayed and says "That's a wrong number, I don't know that number." (There is also a name with the number on the caller ID, he never repeated the name nor said anything about the name.) Then he presses play again and listens to message again. Looks at me and says "Yeah, that message wasn't as funny as the other wrong number message we got before that one time." His body language didn't read as flustered or unusual nor did his voice appear nervous. Even though he is not a good liar, there have been instances where he has played things off in the past. So, who knows? Maybe it was just a wrong number, maybe it wasn't. Short of me calling the number and trying to reach the person who left the message and ask who them who they were trying to reach or why they left that message, there's not much else to do with it. So, I think it's best to just let it go now at this point.
Afterwards, H gave me the paperwork for me to fill out. I sat in dining room across from office where he was. Next thing, H comes and sits across from me at dining room table and just talks and tells me about his day and about where he had been for the evening, helping a close friend of ours. Again, another moment that felt like old times. Strange that the whole vibe of the evening kind of remained on that tone or note from the time he had come home. There were a few texts that were coming in and H was texting back but he seemed to put his phone down or away anytime I was around or approaching.
Later, I was passing by office and just asked if he needed anything else from me on the paperwork. H had phone in his hand up to his ear but wasn't talking to anyone - think he was just listening to voicemail. H said no and I said good night and went to my room and closed door. About an hour later, I was in bed with tv on and thought I heard knock on my door but wasn't sure so I didn't say anything. Then a knock again, so I said come in. H had a basket of my laundry that had been in the dryer in his hands. He brought it into my room and set the basket on the floor by my bed. Told me he had put my other clothes in the dryer and then said good-night. ??? This was a little puzzling, because I have never brought his laundry to his room before. I always just leave it in a basket out on the kitchen table for him to deal with. He could have very easily just done the same for me. Hmmm.
Me-34 XH-33 No Kids We were M-12Y T-15Y 5/09 Same house-separate bedrooms 01/10 I filed for D / H moved out 09/16/10 Divorced
I'm sure her kitty is just fine all by its lonesome, as I'm sure she'd tell him...
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
Yesterday - H came home from work around 7ish. I was in my room just resting but my door was cracked open. H came to my room and asked me to fax condo sale paperwork for him. H then just out and around in his room on phone for a while, out in kitchen doing laundry, and in office and we had a little light conversation while I was getting a few things done too.
His usual routine on Fri nights, if he comes home after work and hasn't already packed and got his stuff at lunchtime, is to get showered, packed, and leave within about a 30-45 minute time period. And it's usually earlier than when I start getting ready and/or packed to leave and/or go out. Realized, he never gets to see me in my "hot wear" for going out.
So last night I thought he had already showered and was in process of getting ready to leave. So I decided to try and take advantage of the opportunity of him being here and get ready as fast as I could and possibly cross paths with him in the kitchen before he left.
I left my bedroom door wide open and had dance music playing on tv while in my bathroom with door open putting my makeup on. I had a tight charcoal grey mini-skirt on with a form fitting hot pink top and hot pink platform heel sling-backs (super cute, fun, hot, sexy)! I was almost done putting my makeup on, when H comes strolling into my bathroom and whistles at me. (Notice that H has not taken his shower yet and is still in work pants and shirtless. Hmmm.) H asks "where are you going?" I just replied with a sly "I don't know, not sure yet." H repeats with questioning "You don't know?" with a tone like that I had given him that answer because I didn't want to tell him where I was going/who I was going with. I was in the process of applying some eyelashes as well and H says "Wow, you're even putting eyelashes on? Let me see." H comes very close proximity and looks at me directly at my eyes then says "And you're tall too." (That is something that H used to say to me when I would have high heels on and he would think that I looked really good/sexy.) Then he looked at me with that look in his eye, almost like he was holding himself back from giving me a hug or saying something more. So I just quickly kept getting myself ready and H stayed in the bathroom talking to me and alternating between watching me while I was getting ready and picking his face in the mirror (I know, yuck, but it's what he was doing, old comfortable habits I suppose). Really felt like an old times moment again of us getting ready to go somewhere together. H left before I finished my hair.
I finished getting ready. Went to kitchen to grab a bite to eat. H comes out showered and ready like he was getting ready to leave as well. Made it my aim to go ahead and leave before him. Caught a few more looks from him. H asked me about the shirt he was wearing and I told him he looked really good. On my way out the door H was talking to me, had eyes fully on me and I just said "c-ya" very casually.
A friend and I went out for drinks and sang karaoke. Had a great time! Got home around midnight and H was gone, of course.
Hmmm. Still chasing my kitty?
Last edited by aflowergurlie; 10/31/0902:24 PM.
Me-34 XH-33 No Kids We were M-12Y T-15Y 5/09 Same house-separate bedrooms 01/10 I filed for D / H moved out 09/16/10 Divorced
I left my bedroom door wide open and had dance music playing on tv while in my bathroom with door open putting my makeup on. I had a tight charcoal grey mini-skirt on with a form fitting hot pink top and hot pink platform heel sling-backs (super cute, fun, hot, sexy)! I was almost done putting my makeup on, when H comes strolling into my bathroom and whistles at me. (Notice that H has not taken his shower yet and is still in work pants and shirtless. Hmmm.) H asks "where are you going?" I just replied with a sly "I don't know, not sure yet." H repeats with questioning "You don't know?" with a tone like that I had given him that answer because I didn't want to tell him where I was going/who I was going with. I was in the process of applying some eyelashes as well and H says "Wow, you're even putting eyelashes on? Let me see." H comes very close proximity and looks at me directly at my eyes then says "And you're tall too." (That is something that H used to say to me when I would have high heels on and he would think that I looked really good/sexy.) Then he looked at me with that look in his eye, almost like he was holding himself back from giving me a hug or saying something more. So I just quickly kept getting myself ready and H stayed in the bathroom talking to me and alternating between watching me while I was getting ready and picking his face in the mirror (I know, yuck, but it's what he was doing, old comfortable habits I suppose). Really felt like an old times moment again of us getting ready to go somewhere together. H left before I finished my hair.
Hmmm. Still chasing my kitty?
Very possibly. He could also be wondering who else might be prowling around.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
