"I'm changing now because I want to be closer to God and do his will."
This is all that matters.
"I know I need to change for me first and that is what I'm doing. I want to be closer to God and to be a better person than I ever was before, and isn't that showing my H that I love him or no?"
You're contradicting yourself here. You do it for God. Period. It doesn't matter what you're showing your H. Leave him out of it.
God gave us the tools to handle any adversity that comes our way. He also doesn't condone being walked on by our S. Do what you want for yourself and don't think of your H.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
