My wife and I have been having issues over the last couple of years. We havn't really worked on things, cause her father recently passed away with cancer, and we spent the last 2 years trying to deal with the ups and downs of treating cancer.
4 weeks ago, my wife said she needed her space, cause she hasn't dealt with her issues (including her father passing away and an abortion about 18 months ago), and that I make it harder for her to deal with when I'm around. So I moved out of home. (which is her parents home as we're in the process of building, (another stress point for us)). A week before I moved out, we had an argument, and she said that she has pretty much made up her mind about our marriage. So I told her that I would pack my bags, and she said she wasn't asking me to leave???
She said that when she is ready to talk about our marriage, she will let me know. My wife is a strong minded person, and once she sets her mind on something, it's very hard to change. I just don't know if she has already made up her mind, but can't deal with telling me yet. I've been trying to give her the space she needs, but it's hard as we have a 6 year old son who I speak to every morning and night and see Thursday through to Saturday when he stays with me. We also talk most days as were still trying to get the house finished which should hopefully be done in about 2 months. It's our 11 year anniversay on Saturday night, and we are going out to watch a show and have dinner, but she said as friends (not sure what that means)
I've been staying with my sister and parents, but am struggling with not knowing what she is thinking or has planned and I want to call to talk about it, but I know it will cause more problems.
We went through the same thing about 18 months ago, and I didn't handle it too well. I only moved out for a week, and didn't give her any space and nothing really changed, so I'm not going to make the same mistake again. I just don't know how long I can wait for her to want to talk about things. I feel lost.
One of the conditions of me giving her the space this time, is that she seeks councelling (which she is), cause I think she really needs to speak to some-one, and I'm not very good with saying the right things.
Some days she is gives me confidance that we can work through things (like asking me which carpet I prefer for the house, colors, bathroom fittings etc), but other days I feel like there is no hope cause she'll say things like "you can do what ever you like"
She also took a week off work after I moved out and she spent it with our son (going to the beach, movies etc). I'm concerned that with councilling and taking that time off, she will think that she is happier without me. I do hope she does starts feeling happier, but at the same time, I don't want her to think it's because I'm not there.
She is a smart and strong person, but I'm not sure what her thought process has been over the last 4 weeks. I know 4 weeks is only a short period, but it feels like a lifetime.
I want to wait for her, but I don't know how long I can wait. Thats a question I keep asking myself, but can't seem to answer. It's something that only I can answer, but I can't.
She refuses to wear her wedding rings as it is a sign of our committment to each other, and I was never there for her.
