K4D Rising #4

[GoBison]

I did a lot of thinking last night and this morning. I'm still in a lot of pain from what I did and said and what my W said and is doing.

But I finally realized that I have a lot of work that I have to do on myself that I cannot just get through faith. I have to make real changes and get help making those changes in who I am as an overall person.

I see this now. Its not enough to just have faith. You have to put work into changing you also. It was a hard realization to come to. I didn't want to admit that I couldn't do it alone. But I can't. I don't have the tools to do it alone.

I am handing my M and W over to God and I am putting my feet forward in getting the help that I need for myself. I know that until I do, nothing will ever change between me and W. It also hurts knowing I am back to square one. But that is the reality of the damage I did this weekend. 11 months if there was even any progress made was just wiped out by me not being smarter and realizing I have issues that have to be worked on.

Today is going to be a hard day as I continue to self analyze things and look in the direction I have to go without my W being by my side.

Kevin

Kevin this is from August. Don't send the letter to your W just do what you are saying and what you have been saying every week for the past several months. Leave her be work on yourself. Let her do what she needs to do on her part to get through this. She doesn't need you to set her free She is already free and on her own. Why would she need you to say ok now you can go? Seems like you are still trying to control her or think that you have control over her.