Yes....attacks and harsh words, coming from a bitter place are bad for the kids. I think you've told them the truth in an honest, loving way.
There were times, Donna, in the first 12-18 months after the bomb that I would go to the nearest open Catholic church during lunch, sit in the back, and sob, telling God "I'm sorry I was such a bad husband that my wife felt compelled to cheat on me. I'm sorry that I can't or won't change into the kind of man that attracts her back. I'm sorry my divorce-busting efforts are so pathetic I'm sorry that I failed my family and children."
Yeah, I cried me a river of tears.
Maybe you still feel that way a little.
I'm done crying.
You see, the fact that I was there crying meant that my heart was in the right place. The fact that you wanted an intact family for your kids means you are one of the good guys, Donna.
I'm slowly becoming more of a person that I like. I realize that I'm worth taking care of. But I'm doing it for me, not to win my wife back. She may come back, but if she doesn't, there's a wonderful life for me with or without another woman in my life. I envy the woman who's heart I capture. ;-) The world needs my gifts and my joy. My kids need my passion and strength.
I see the same for you. You are one of the good people, Donna. I so want to see you flourish.
I can't rack my brains with best outcomes. Your husband's affair and leaving you was wrong. Shouldn't of happened. Terrible thing. And yet..it's quite possible that for you, the best is yet to come. I have this sense, that perhaps, in some strange way, if my wife and I split up, for me the best years of my life will clearly be ahead of me. That might be possible if we stay together, but who knows?
Allow me to toast your wonderful and joyful life to come -- starting today!!!!
