Hope and heartache

[ClingingToHope]

Just finished my consultation with a L. He's a nice enough guy. He set me straight on a few things. To divorce, we're looking at bankruptcy because W ran up such huge credit card debt that there's no way she can take enough of it on.

The only way I can negotiate a lower CS payment is if we have 50/50 physical custody. I can't see W and W's L going for that.

L suggested I begin keeping a calendar of my day-to-day, week-to-week responsibilities.

I'm paying her too much right now. I'm chipping in on a couple of loans we took out together, but she's not chipping in at all on the credit card debt.

His point is I have two options, continue to pay and hope we somehow patch things up, or tell her I'm not paying that extra amount any more and risk angering her into filing.

I run the risk of a judge saying well he's getting along fine on that payment, keep it at that level.

I do not want that.

Two other issues and I think I've got a proposal. My mom gave me my grandmother's wedding ring to marry W. It's a $3,500 ring. I want that back. L said typically the rings are considered gifts.

Well, her car is paid for and I'm making payments. W's car blue books at $6,700. I'll either forego half of her car or take a lower chunk of her retirement in exchange for the ring.

Funny, I thought I'd be more emotional. But when it comes to discussing money, I've always been clinical. Now it's a dollars and cents game.

I doubt W knows I'm seeing a L. How should I tell her?