jstv, I'm sorry you are in the same miserable position as us. Sadly, it sounds like your situation is similar to Lulu's and mine. Before I set up a schedule, my H was doing the SAME thing - coming and going as he pleased. At times he would text me and say he wasn't coming over bc he wanted to "nap" after work. NAP? Are you freaking kidding me??? It's so frustrating. Maybe you could set up a schedule with your H too - this way you take back some of the control and you let him know he's not welcome whenever he finally feels like spending time with the family. But make him accountable too - he needs to step up and be an engaged parent and you need a break! When he comes over, you should leave and do something, anything - go the library and read a book, go shopping, go have a cup of coffee - just do something for you and you don't need to tell him what you are doing.
My H pretty much said those exact words to me - that he wasn't happy, wanted to know if he would be happier somewhere else, and that he loved me, but wasn't in love with me. I'm so extremely sick of the pathetic, whiny, selfish, stupid excuse, "I'm not happy." Well...thanks H - bc you are not happy (and not willing to do anything to save the marriage) you are tearing our family apart. So thoughtful, huh? So much for commitment, vows, promises, etc...
Okay...I'm gonna chill before I really get fired up!
Hang in there, ask for help, advice and support when you need it and know this is NOT your fault.
Hugs..
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
