It's so funny you say that because he really does care what people think. And he so vehement that he doesn't.
At this point, I'm just being honest and telling him exactly what I need as I think I need to tell him. Things are ok to good. And he's away right now and I've got a lot going on right now so I'm trying to keep it that way.
So H is still in contact with ex-OW. She's been warned that her phantom text to me will result in me giving my phone to the police to investigate where they are coming from. So that has stopped. But now she's posting on his FB page which she hasn't done in months really and I think in an attempt to piss me off. No biggie. It sort of makes me laugh because I'm pretty sure her reasons for keeping touch with H and doing things like that are to piss me off. Long story, she blames me for her old boyfriend dumping her. He called me and wanted to warn me about my H talking to his "soon to be ex-girlfriend" because he thought it was inappropriate. Turns out she told old bf not to worry about her talking to my H because "he's married and very happy with his wife and child." Actually at that time we were separated and he was no longer living here. I didn't know she had lied to old boyfriend and told him as much and he went ballistic and put all of her stuff in trash bags on the lawn. She blames me for this.
Any-hoo. I've told H I would like him to contact me throughout the day, for no reason and not every second but once maybe three times via calls or texts. He's not really trying this much with me but he's doing it with her. H is no longer worth a phone call from her but they do text frequently and daily.
My question is this: can we really fix anything when he's giving exactly what I want to someone else who's miles away and doesn't even think he's worth a phone call? Who is by the way, engaged to someone else? Obviously H wants to contact her but not me. I know the texts are pretty stupid, stuff you could post online for the whole world to read they are so blah, but still, she's getting the stupid fun contact and I'm not.
I really don't know why I'm doing this anymore but I wanted opinions on this.
Well then Jack, I could use some words of wisdom here. I'm getting to the end of my rope here. He won't drop the relationship and it's purely texts only, he's not even worth a phone call. But it's that's important to him, seemingly more important to him than us.
H is still away on his guys trip and won't be back until Monday. Things are about OK. His birthday is coming up, the day after he told his lawyer was the deadline for us to "work things out" and on that day we'll re-asses where we are. Sort of funny. I hope I'll be there for his party that I'm planning with a friend at her place.
Part of me wonders if I should show him what life would be like if we were truly divorced. He's done a lot of cake eating this whole time and not seen what his life would be like if we went through with it.
I support that idea. If he's connected to OW, he's got the door open and he's taking you for granted. If all he's left alone iwth is some bimbo with a fiance that he only texts, a real woman who loves him and is the mother of his child is gonna look way better. But only if he's forced to choose. Let him spend a lonely birthday and feel the pain! The only cake-eating he'll do is at his party for one.
Hello all this will probably be my last post here. I wanted to thank you all so much for all the support and love I've gotten here. I hope you all can pull this out. I hope the best for each and every one of you. H and I are divorcing. It's done. I now know his plan was to sell this house and move me and S somewhere other than with him. I can't do this anymore. It's now time to consider and think of me and S. Good luck to you all.
If you haven't figured it out yet...the people here are here to support you no matter what happens to your marriage.
Do no think that just because you are getting a divorce you should stop posting here. Divorce Busting is just a title, and as long as you are arbitrarily advising people to 'get out' of a marriage your insights can and will help others.
Your call, to stay or leave...you're in control. Funny huh? Almost like a little lesson there.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
