Trying to make is Right

[godswill]

Hi Karen, thanks for writing. I do have a IC, I have seen one for years, but the same things keep coming up in the marriage. I have also been on ADs and have not found much success. When things are going ok I feel pretty good - I really felt things were going OK. Then she will just really blow up and I feel a bit surprised and then can look back and see what she is saying, but at the time I was surprised.I also look back and say, well I can see things a bit differently. She just IMed with me and kept telling me how awful I was on the phone the night before with my son. I was on speakerphone and we were playing and online game and it was a struggle to connect - I kept trying and I did not think he was upset. She says she is deaming about how she and the kids are being attacked by these male figures and how obvious that is she is so scared. She calls my moods as being truly abusive and emotionally raping of her. I just do not get it, I get so confused - I try and say the right thing and it is taken as me being self important or not connected or whatever. I just truly do not know the best way to make things right. I know she is suffering and so burdened, but I do not know how to make it better.