On the tgiving thing, tough one but if you like his brother and wife I'd go but separate from your EX...
On wanting his family back I'd be very very blunt with him. Let him know you think he's an addict and until he gets help there is no chance of getting back, that's to protect your D...Of course he'll push back and say he's not, you validate, say you understand but you stated what it will take to even consider it, period.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
